Happiness

I was reading about Anne Frank in her book, "The Diary of A Young Girl," and found this quote that I just needed to share.

"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely, or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature, and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of Nature. As long as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles."

Enjoying The Tunnel

Ok...so first I have to appologize for being probably the worst blogger on the face of the planet! Things in my life have kept me from blogging, however, I think that it has calmed down enough to start up again. To attempt to make it up to you...this week there will be several posts. So keep looking throughout the week. As I was thinking about how to start after not blogging for so long, I felt that I needed to start here.



Someone reminded me today that at many times in our life we seem to be very far away from that faint glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. We tend to get caught looking for that light, and it is our only thought. That is when such thoughts occur as, "I'll be happy when..." "My life would be so easy if..." "When....happens everything will be better." The danger in this is that we are not focusing on all of the things that we could be enjoying right now as we are in that tunnel. I hope to be able to enjoy the tunnels of my life in my simple journey.

The Test

Here is the chorus from a song called, "The Test" by Janice Kapp Perry. This song has been floating around for a while in my mind and I hope it can help as a reminder for all of us.

"Didn't He say He sent us to be tested.
Didn't He say the way would not be sure.
But didn't He say we could live with Him forevermore well and whole if we but patiently endure?
After the trial we will be blessed, but this life is the test."

"Come What May, and Love It!" Happy Sunday!

Arm Update

So I finally had the appointment I have been waiting about a month for this week. It went well I thought. This was with the rheumatologist. He needs to run 3 more tests this upcoming week, and still look at those results, but he did give me a diagnosis in the meantime. So I have autoimmune arthritis. It is also referred to as reactive arthritis. Basically it is a different type of arthritis than what you get when you are older. This is where my immune system attacked my arm for some reason. There are 3 groups of people with this type of arthritis, and we will have to see what group I'm in. There is still lots I don't know and have answers to, because we are waiting for the other tests, but more than what I had before. He did an ultrasound and then gave me another one of those wonderful shots that numbs my arm. After that he gave me a shot of cortisone. Then came the best part of the whole visit. He told me that I wasn't to do any of my exercises from physical therapy for 1 week while the cortisone worked! It has been nice to have 3 hours a day back of my life! It has also been so nice to sleep without a splint on my arm at night. There are still many options and things that we have to still discuss, like the possibility of having a scope and cleaning out my arm. I go and see him in 3 more weeks to find out the rest of the answers and see how the cortisone worked. Until then I will enjoy no arm exercises until Wednesday! Yeah for happiness!

Drama Week 6,7,8, and 9

I decided that I would just catch you all up to present day since the drama is still continuing, and I didn't realize it had been so many weeks of drama. Let's see, so I am still living with my Grandparents and slowly but surely getting able to do more things by myself. Where were we in the drama...oh yes, 60% more movement to go. So I faithfully did all these exercises and went back to physical therapy on February 16th. This was wonderful. I was remeasured and now I had 70% movement. I gained 30% movement just in 5 days. I only had 30% left to go instead of 60% and felt that this was going to be good and not take too much longer. I was doing more by myself and hoping to move back to my apartment soon. My therapist remolded that beautiful splint that you saw last post that I wear to bed. I was given more exercises and sent home. I returned to physical therapy on February 20th, and was again remeasured. It was a little disappointing because I thought that it would be pretty much better, but I had only gained 5%. Now I had 75% motion. The therapist said that this was normal to gain about 5%. I felt better knowing that I was still gaining motion. So, it will take a little longer, but at least I will be able to move it soon. I was given more exercises and went back on February 27th. I gained another 5% and now had 80% movement. My splint was remolded again, and I was given more exercises. This is the latest splint that I have.


If you compare it to the last post it is quite a bit straighter, but not there yet. I went to therapy again on March 5th, and this is where the drama really continues. I was remeasured and didn't have any gain. In fact, I had lost 3% motion. I went from 80% to 77%. This was very frustrating because I am doing about 2 hours of exercises a day and sleeping with that silly splint on and I am loosing motion. AHHHH!!!! We talked about some options, wanted to give it one more week, didn't remold the splint and was sent home. I still faithfully continued my exercises and went back on March 13th, hoping for some progress. The news was like last time. No gain, and a 2% loss. Now I am back to 75% motion. So here I am still living with my grandparents, loosing motion, and waiting to see another doctor on Tuesday. And so the journey continues...

Drama- Week 4 and 5

Let's see...oh yes, I had just been sent home from the second emergency room visit to wait until next week. So on Wednesday, February 4th, I had to get a substitute and went in to take fluid out of my elbow. You know it isn't going to be good when there are two needles...one to numb the arm, and the other big one to hold the fluid.

After numbing the arm (which by the way was VERY painful) he inserted the other needle to pull out fluid. Since my elbow wasn't swollen any more, there wasn't any fluid to pull out. In came another needle with fluid to be injected in so that it could be taken right back out. We finally got some fluid and sent it immediately to the lab. I went back to school with my arm still numb to teach just my after school class. I got a message from the lab results and they all came back negative, so nothing is apparently wrong with my arm! They told me that the orthopedic surgeon was baffled and that since my arm still isn't moving, and it had been so long since it first started that I needed to get into a physical therapist. The next week on the 11th I went to my first physical therapy appointment. I put my arm in a 110 degree whirlpool to start with for 20 minutes. Then my arm was massaged and stretched and measured to see where we were at. So at this point we found out that I have 40% motion. Yeah, only 60% to go...I can hardly wait! :( I was then sent home with 3 different exercises and a fabulous splint. The first exercise is to lie on my back and hold the wrist of my hurt hand and then lift my hands above my head, going as far as I could and hold for 10 seconds. I was to do 1 set of 10. The second one is to lie on my back, put a rolled towel under my arm and straighten my elbow as much as I could. Then I am to just let it hang and have gravity pull it down. I do this for 15 minutes 3 times a day. The last exercise is to hold my wrist and to bend the elbow as far as I can and hold it for 60 seconds with 10 repetitions. I do this one 6 times a day. My splint, I know it looks very attractive...,

I wear at night while I sleep. It is strapped on top of the under part of my arm and it looks as my dad says that I am a beggar asking for money. This is how I sleep all night. I know you are all very jealous now! I did find that when laying on my back and propping my arm with the splint on it that I can lessen the pain and finally fall asleep. So the fun continues and I see the physical therapist on the 16th of February.

And so the journey will continue later...

Drama- Week 2 and 3

Let's see where were we...ah yes, we knew it couldn't be a fracture.
So on Monday, Martin Luther King Jr. Day I spent time in the doctor's office. I was able to get into my regular doctor. She looked at the x-rays that I brought in and listened to the story and said that it looked liked it could be broken, but this heat and swelling was probably from something called bursitis. This is where one of your bursa ruptures. She gave me an antibiotic and sent me home. She said that if it wasn't better to come in later that week. The swelling went down considerably, but it wasn't there yet, so I went in again on Thursday to see her. She told me that the antibiotic seemed to be working and to keep on it and to call if I needed more. She also said that she had talked to an orthopedic surgeon and that with a fracture you should move it after about 3-5 days. Well, since it had been well over that, she told me to start moving it. I got an appointment for the next week with an orthopedic surgeon and just continued to try and take it out of the half cast in the morning and at night to move it for a little bit. The next week brought the doctor appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. After telling him my story he said that it was not broken and to take the cast off right now. He looked at the x-rays, and decided we needed new x-rays and blood work. So now I was just to wear the sling so that my arm could hang. The x-rays showed no sign of being broken and the blood work showed no infection. So now my arm isn't broken! I was to come back the next day and have an MRI so we could see what was going on. I went the next day, they had me dress in scrubs, and then came the easy part...to simply lay superman style pushed up against this tunnel that they could barely shove me in because me arm wouldn't bend! Oh such fun. The MRI came back and confirmed that there was never a fracture and that there was fluid in my joint in my elbow, but still no infection. The doctor said that next week I would come in and he would take the fluid out. That Saturday, the 31st of January, I took my arm out of the sling to move it and it was hot again. I called my doctor and he said to go to the emergency room where they would have to drain the fluid. I went and with such speed they were able to see me in about 3 hours. By this time my elbow was not hot again, and the ER doctor called my doctor to find out what to do. He said to just take blood tests to see if there was infection and I was to see him on Monday. So after bursting a vain in my hand and having it swell up and turn amazing colors, they finally got some blood for the tests. The tests came back and there was no infection, just inflammation, which I could already tell by the swelling in my elbow. About 1 or 2 Sunday morning, I was sent home with some ice to wait until Monday.

So the plot thickens, and you will have to wait yet again to find out what happened with the now NOT broken arm.

Drama- Week 1

Well, as promised I said that I would write about my drama that has been the biggest reason for my lack of blogging and making my life not such a simple journey. Journey with me now as I recreate my first week in many weeks yet to blog about.

Drama- Week 1:
It was a regular Monday morning as my alarm went off at 5 AM. I woke up, turned off my alarm and got out of bed. That was when I noticed that I couldn't straighten my arm. There was no pain, I just physically could not straighten my arm. I thought this very weird but since there was no pain I assumed I had just slept on it very wrong and soon my arm would straighten. I went to the gym, came home, and got ready for school. At school I thought it strange that I could not straighten it still, but it was great entertainment for my students. I came home and attended home evening, still not able to straighten the arm. After icing it I climbed in bed knowing that tomorrow would be better. As my alarm went off Tuesday morning I knew something was wrong when I still couldn't straighten my arm. I still didn't have any pain, but was very concerned about having no movement. That day after school it was starting to ache and I decided that I needed to go to Insta Care and have them look at it. I drove to Springville where the nearest Insta Care was and managed to take the wrong exit. Once off the correct exit I stumbled upon another road block- literally. The road to the Insta Care was blocked off for construction. After 1 hour of driving around in the dark to find a new route to the Insta Care, I finally gave up and went home. After heating it I went to bed. Wednesday I went to school and still had no movement and more pain. After lunch during math time the pain was so awful that I didn't know if I was going to make it. I went in and got someone to cover my after school class, so as soon as regular school was over I went to another Insta Care in Orem. This one I actually made it to, but by the time I got there I was in so much pain I didn't know what I was going to do. They found that I had a temperature, and were worried about infection, so they took blood and then x-rays.


After looking at the x-rays the doctor was very perplexed. He said that he didn't know what to do, that they might have to do surgery, and that I needed to go to the emergency room. He called ahead and ordered a test where they would take fluid out of my elbow. I went to the emergency room and of course because I wasn't dying (yet..) waited for many, many hours. Did I mention that it was many hours? I got in and the doctor looked at the x-rays and listened to the story of the Insta Care. He said that he saw a fracture- my bone was broken and nothing even happened. He was a little perplexed that I did it in my sleep. He put me in a splint which is a half cast wrapped with ace bandages, a sling and some powerful pain medicine. I asked him about the test the other doctor ordered and he said that he had been doing this for 30 years and knew that it wasn't infected. After getting home sometime early Thursday morning, I knew that I wouldn't be going to school. I hoped the substitute would survive, and with the help and concern of many people, I was able to sleep most of the day. Friday at my school the students weren't coming and the teachers were grading writing assessments. I didn't go in until later that day. Grandma came and helped me get dressed and drove me to school where I could only work for about an hour before the pain was to intense. Then I packed a bag and moved in with Grandma and Grandpa since there were so many things that I couldn't do and I was finding out more things I couldn't do as I was up and not sleeping. Grandma was able to help me shower on Saturday and when we took off the splint my elbow was burning hot and very swollen. We knew that this couldn't be just a fracture and needed to wait until Monday to do anything else.



Well blogger friends, I must leave you in suspense of my broken arm until next time.

I am still here!

I know...you are thinking either something terrible has happened or that I am engaged. Maybe I should let you mull that over for another month! Well, despite my blogs about being so much better at blogging and that I would do it more, life has a way of not making it that simple. Thank you for not loosing all hope on me. Later today you will see a new post and this week you will get the update on the things that have made my simple life not that simple recently.

To My Dear Readers

Dear Readers,
I must first apologize for the lack of postings the last little while. I know some of you have probably thought I had disappeared. However, I am still alive. I wanted to tell you that I think that you are all amazing. To those who blog, I know I have not responded in a long time, but I have been reading. I want you to know that I admire you for blogging even though you have crazy and hectic lives. The last few months have given me some unusual circumstances, along with different trials and challenges that I won't go into as we all have things we are dealing with. I came to a point where I had to let go of something, and this sadly was one of the things. I am back however, and while some things are better and some are still a challenge, I will be blogging as I feel this is an important part of my life. To compensate a little for my lack of postings, I will be updating several times this week. So be on the look out! Thank you for sticking with me when I seem to be falling apart sometimes. Life is a great learning experience and I thank you for taking the simple journey of life with me!

Your Friend,
Back Again :)

And The Good News Is...

This week has been one of those weeks where anything that could go wrong seems to. Things like people hitting my car, large paintings falling of my head, etc... They are actually more humorous now that I think about it. This week made me think of something that someone once told me.

And the good news is...

When things go wrong it is ok to be frustrated, or sad, or whatever else your emotion is, but then instead of dwelling on it and the WHY ME? syndrome ask...

And the good news is...!

I really like this attitude and have been thinking, well, I get two new car doors. That is good news! When the painting fell on me I didn't have to go to the hospital or even to the doctor...that is also good news! We are so lucky and have so many blessings that even though life is very hard and challenging, there is still good news!

Yeah for happiness!

Bring on the Rain

The rain has always been very captivating to me. I love to watch the rain. Rain also symbolizes several things for me. One of them being beauty. The rain can be so beautiful. Today I was thinking about the rain in another way for me. The words to a song by Jo Dee Messina continued to come to my head today as I was overwhelmed will a flood of thoughts, decisions, and things happening around me.

Another day has almost come and gone
Can't imagine what else could wrong
Sometimes Id like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war (cause)

Tomorrows another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

It's almost like the hard times circle round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I'm not dead

Tomorrows another day
And I'm thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

I'm not gonna let it get me down
I'm not gonna cry
And I'm not gonna lose any sleep tonight


I hope that I'm not the only one that feels like sometimes when it rains it pours- that when something is wrong everything else seems to pile up. And while things won't go away and be solved today, there is also hope in knowing that tomorrow is another day, and that I am very blessed. This will only make me stronger right? :)